


The Worst Misunderstanding

by orphan_account



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-14 21:03:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11216226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Black Hat thinks Flug has a crush on him, but there are two little problems: 1, he's totally wrong, and 2, Flug's interest comes from a much worse place.





	1. Chapter 1

“Boss…?” Flug stood at the door to Black Hat’s study, watching the villain scribble down ideas for more products. “I was wondering if you'd like to help me out with a little physical exam - I mean, when you have time, of course.”

Black Hat scoffed. “Why would I need something like that?”

“I was thinking of studying your physiology and shape-shifting powers to possibly engineer a prototype spybot.” Flug began to move his hands excitedly as he talked. “Imagine it: a robot that can change shape and size however you want, to go under, around or over any obstacle. It’s the perfect thing to discover your enemies’ weaknesses!”

“Shape-shifting, hmm?” Black Hat leaned back in his chair, rubbing his chin. “You mean like… this?”

The villain’s face suddenly split from ear to ear, folding backwards on itself to reveal a bed of slimy purple tongues among dozens of teeth. Flug screamed and clutched his chest. Black Hat cackled at the response, keeping his face in the twisted shape. “Dr, Flug, you brilliant fool. You think I’d give all my secrets away to you, so you can sell them to some hero behind my back?”

“I… I’d never betray you, sir.” Flug felt his heart pounding in his ears, from both the terrifying image burned into his eyes and how close Black Hat’s accusation came. “I assure you my findings would be kept under lock and key. Just… please, think of how many villains could use a spy that can do anything you can! And perhaps it even do… er, what you’re doing right now.”

After a moment of thought, Black Hat snapped his head back into place. “Fine. Examine me as you wish, doctor.”

“Thank you, sir. Meet me downstairs in a little while, okay?” Flug slipped off to the lab, giggling internally. He hadn’t expected it to be so easy! In truth, he never planned to build a robotic spy — it was mainly an excuse to learn the ins and outs of his boss’ body. If he was lucky, Black Hat might even agree to a vivisection… and then, Lord willing, he’d have the villain’s deepest secrets — maybe, just maybe even a weakness — and a date with Black Hat’s wealthiest enemy. Any hero would pay through the nose to get a hold of the notorious villain’s secrets. Flug laid out the tools on a tray next to the operating table, hands shaking with excitement. All he had to do was go on about some pseudomedical testing, and Black Hat would be his. Momentarily, at least.

“So tell me, sir — did you, um, have a mother? Or do you remember?” Flug busily washed his hands, bombarding his boss with a wide variety of questions about his physiology. Most of the answers were a simple “hmm”.

“I believe I simply… how do you say, ‘poofed’ into existence one day. I appear to be a manifestation of pure evil.“ A smug look crept across Black Hat’s face. “It happened about… oh, three hundred years ago.”

“Three hundred? Interesting. If you could remove your shirt…” Flug pulled on fresh gloves and picked up a stethoscope, watching his boss’ clothes dissolv into smoke and swirl away. “And you’ve always been able to shape-shift?”

“Of course. It’s no fun being in one type of body all the time.” 

He pressed the end to Black Hat’s chest, noting the rubbery texture of the skin. “I don’t hear a heartbeat. Or lung sounds. Very odd. Would you mind if I moved onto… um, exploratory surgery? I just want to get a biopsy.” Flug prayed Black Hat wouldn’t see through the flimsy excuse.

“What, is there something wrong with me?” Black Hat frowned, concerned but not yet suspicious.

“Well, it is kind of concerning to not have vital organs… I just want to aspirate your tissue with a needle. I’m not planning on cutting you open.” Not all the way open, at least, Flug finished mentally. He fiddled with a 20-gauge needle, screwing it into the end of a syringe and making sure Black Hat saw it. “Now, you may feel a pinch.”

Black Hat recoiled at the sight of the needle. “Is that really necessary?“

“Of course. You’re not afraid of needles, are you?” Flug leaned in close, one hand behind his back, enjoying the way Black Hat tried to avoid him.  
“Flug, if you stick that in me, I’m going to rip your head off,” Black Hat growled.

“Oh… we’ll, that’s fortunate, because I’m not going to stick this in you.” Flug’s other hand, bearing a very thin needle and syringe, snuck around Black Hat’s side and pushed under his skin. Too distracted by the bigger needle, Black Hat didn’t notice the sting until Flug had already removed the needle.

“Ow - what was that?”

“What was what?” A viscous, black liquid, shimmering like oil, filled the small syringe. “I think this sample might do for now. You can go- i-if you don’t have anymore questions, I mean.”  
Flug spent the rest of the day experimenting on the sample. It was utterly homogenous, each cell looking exactly like the next under the electron microscope. It changed shape often, rearranging its own molecular structure at will, until it finally slowed and ceased moving after five hours.

He attempted to feed it to the incenerator, but the fire rejected it and made terrible black smoke come from it. Flug immersed the sample in a strong acid, then, after three days had passed, called his boss back in.  
“Your tissue is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. I’d like to do a lot more exploration.” Flug gently pressed his fingers to Black Hat’s abdomen. It was like soft rubber, or even silicone, like a se… like a novelty toy. He started in with the questions again.

“Can you shapeshift any part of your body? Is it just shape, or color, texture, so on? What do you believe is your ‘default’ form? Do you have a… a, erm, reproductive system you know of?”  
Black Hat grinned at the last question. “I can create one, if you wish.”

“That’s quite alright,” Flug answered quickly, averting his eyes. He did not want to see whatever sort of genitals Black Hat manifested. “I’ll just get another quick sample, and report back to you. You’ve been a phenomenal help, by the way.” 

He would wait a few more days, fill up a little folder with supposed plans for the spybot, then claim to lose them. Flug didn’t want to arouse suspicion, but he did want as much research material as he could get.  
“So in conclusion, I learned a lot from the sample, but I’ll need to do a more thorough physical exam to… why are you grinning like that.” Flug shuffled away from his boss’ desk. Black Hat had many different expressions, from ‘mildly amused’ to ‘about to eat someone alive’, but this one was neither.

This was smug, amused, almost… sultry. One hand on his chin, the other on the desk, fingers drumming the wood.  
“Oh, I see. I see what you’re doing this for. There’s no spy camera at all, is there?“ Black Hat’s forked tongue flickered out to taste the air. “I can smell the denial from here, Flug.”

Flug backed up against the wall, cowering. “No, sir, y-you’re mistaken, I just wanted to do some research on-“

Black Hat moved like a living shadow, sweeping out from behind the desk and rematerializing in front of Flug. “Liar.” He grabbed Flug’s shirt, pushing his face close.  
Trapped between Black Hat and the wall, Flug mentally prepared himself for death. “I’m so sorry,” he choked. “It was… I just couldn’t resist the temptation.” Tears stained the bottom of the bag.

“Say it, Flug. Let me hear you admit your deepest desires.” Black Hat’s tongue flicked out again, swiping across Flug’s neck. “Don’t be shy.”

“I-I… wait. What?”

“I saw through your ruse on day one. You just wanted to watch me naked, didn’t you. That’s why you asked about my reproductive system, as you so nicely put it.”

Flug stared incredulously at his boss. “You… think I have a crush on you…?” he said cautiously. Oh. Lord. On one hand, he was so, so, relieved, but on the other hand… well, Black Hat just wasn’t his type.  
“Oh, I know. Your little physical exam was an excuse to feel me up, wasn’t it?” Black Hat purred, slipping his fingers under the edge of Flug’s shirt and finding a nipple.

“Woah… s-sir. Don’t…” Flug bit his lip. His mind was spinning - what was he going to do? Lie and say he wanted Black Hat, or tell the truth and admit his ulterior motives? The latter would get him killed or worse, the former would get him… eurgh. Flug shivered in disgust.

“Something the matter?” Black Hat cooed, running his fingers up inside Flug’s bag. 

“Not here. Just… not here.” Flug wriggled away, still pressed against the wall. “Er… your room?”

“Lovely suggestion.” Black Hat picked Flug up and carried him to his lavish bedroom, dumping the scientist unceremoniously on the bed. He stripped quickly and gracefully, letting Flug get an eyeful of his body.  
“This is what you’ve been wanting, isn’t it?”

“Yes, sir.” Flug closed his eyes, hoping Black Hat wouldn’t notice it behind the goggles, and wriggled his jeans down to his ankles. “P… please be gentle.”

“But of course.” Black Hat straddled Flug’s hips. “Now, where shall we start?”

“Er… um… I was thinking about a… m-mutual manustrupation, actually.”

Black Hat scoffed. “Such a tame thing to do. Tell me, Dr. Flug… what are your fantasies?”

Flug could feel Black Hat’s lips brush his neck, a gesture that would probably arouse many other people. Alright, Flug, he thought to himself. Just relax. Just let him do what he wants, and pretend to like it. “I… I’ve had thoughts of…” He took a deep breath and opened his eyes.Between Black Hat’s legs sat a thick, ridged organ, glowing purple and dripping greenish slime from the tip.  
Flug shrieked at the sight of it. “I can’t do this anymore! I am not having sex with a… a monstrosity!” Flug shoved Black Hat off and clambered off the bed, kicking his pants off and making a mad dash for the lab.

Black Hat sat there in silence, wondering if it was something he said.

Flug did not emerge from the lab for a long time. Black Hat didn’t come to see him, either. It was only when Flug was sneaking out for groceries did their paths cross.

“Good afternoon, sir.”

Black Hat glared at Flug.

“I’m sorry about what… happened.”

“Flug… do you want me or not?”

Flug swallowed nervously. If he said no, he’d be dead on the spot in some horrible way. If he said yes… we’ll, he figured Black Hat wouldn’t buy it. “Not,” he answered, on a barely audible whisper.

“I-I’m sorry, I just… I just couldn’t do it when I saw… that. It was just too weird for me.” A long, awkward silence passed between the two.

Black Hat hmphed. “We’ll, I don’t want you either, then.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me to do a follow up for this, so here it is.

Black Hat was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted it. To have someone dare to deny him as Flug had made his ichor boil. He had tried to be nice, to respond to the doctor’s obvious accismus, only to be denied.

The two were at a standstill. Black Hat couldn’t resist Flug’s soft, nervous demeanor, but it was that same demeanor that made Black Hat so repulsive to Flug.

He could force Flug to return his affections, of course. The only problem with that was the fact Flug might die of nervousness if Black Hat tried intimidation. So, instead, he went the more relaxed way.

“Do you drink, doctor?” Black Hat didn’t wait for an answer before pouring two glasses of champagne anyway.  


“On occasion.” Flug fished a straw from his coat pocket and let it float in the glass. His face was covered, but Black Hat still knew how nervous Flug was, noting the tension in his shoulders and how he drew his legs in. Even in the softer of the two armchairs in the study, Flug never seemed to actually uncoil, physically or mentally.

A minute passed in silence before Flug attempted to get up. “Thanks for the drink, sir, but I really have to back back to-”

“Sit,” Black Hat growled.  


Flug sat back down as quickly as he had gotten up. 

“Relax, Flug.” Black Hat sipped his wine, staring at Flug over the top of the glass. “I didn’t call you here to reprimand you.”

“Then what-”  


“Is it too much for one educated man to have a casual chat with another?” Black Hat bristled, quite literally, his skin forming little spikes.  


“No. Not at all, sir.”   


“Good. Very good.” Black Hat crosses his legs. “Now, why don’t you tell me a little about your hobbies?”   


Though he’d existed for centuries, Black Hat still didn’t quite understand how humans conversed among themselves. He didn’t exactly integrate into society like some other people. He had heard that people loved to talk about themselves, and that flattery was a sure way to get what he wanted. Black Hat rarely used either tactic, but with Flug… 

“Well… I like to fly. I love planes.” Flug took a long swallow of wine. “I used to have a Cessna that I took all over Europe after I got my license. It’s amazing to fly over Holland’s tulip fields…” Flug rambled on, alternating between chewing the straw and taking a drink. He relaxed slowly, slumping in the armchair. 

Black Hat just nodded along to Flug’s words. “Oh, Flug, I had meant to ask… do I scare you?” The villain used his smoothest voice, asking the question as casually as he could. “Is that why you reacted the way you did that evening?”

The tension in Flug’s body returned suddenly. “I-I’m sorry sir, but… yes. You scare the living - pardon my French - the living shit out of me.” Flug fidgeted with his straw, setting his glass on the side table, then picking it up again, draining it, and setting it back down in quick, jerky movements. “And about that time, I just… I… did want to… w-with you. I just couldn’t handle… that. I’m so terribly sorry.”

“Would you like to try again, perhaps?” Black Hat grinned, leaning towards Flug.

The human leaned away, his neck flushed red. He spoke incoherently, tripping over his own tongue. “S-sir, please, I’m… I do, but… please don’t do that again, if you can.”

Black Hat chuckled and stood up from his chair. “A yes, then?” He gently took Flug’s right hand, pulling at his rubber glove.

“Y… yes, sir. I… I really did want you. That’s why I wanted to… er, examine you. I’m just… curious.”

“Good, good…” A swift tug, and the glove came off, then was dropped on the floor. Flug’s hand was surprisingly callused, laced with tiny white scars from years of handling metal. Black Hat kneeled and removed the other glove, delighted in the way that Flug drew that hand back a little. There was an old burn across the palm. Black Hat traced it, an image of Flug raising that hand to protect his face popping into his head.

“Scars tell so many stories, don’t they?” He sucked Flug’s fingers, eyes half-closed in amusement at the human’s gasp. Flug spread his legs, just a little, shifting to tilt his hips up. “Are you saying you want fellatio?”

“Please, sir.” Flug’s breathing was a little quicker, as was his heart. “If… unless, I mean, were moving too fast for your tastes, sir-”

“Sir, sir, sir, can’t you think of something else to call me?” Black Hat squeezed Flug’s slender hips, pulling his jeans down to his knees. “I bet I’ll be having you scream my name by the end of this.”

Flug’s legs were shaking, raising a little as Black Hat’s tongue circled around his cock, tickling to underside to get it hard. “Mr. Black Hat, s- boss. My… superior. My overlord, my everything.”

Black Hat groaned. “Keep talking, Flug.” He shapeshifted a cock of his own, modeling it after Flug’s. The praise was going to his head already, stimulating something deep in his belly.

“Ah… future ruler of the world. King of darkness. Emperor of the apocalypse. Herald of the end times, snuffer of planets, he who holds the end of the chain around my neck, the reins to my heart, the strings to my mind…” Flug babbled on, distracted as Black Hat sucked him. He failed to make sense, focusing instead on humping into into his boss’ mouth. “Pardon my French, but you’re fu… fucking amazing.”

“Now that’s more like it, Flug!” Throwing caution to the wind, Black Hat pushed Flug as deep into his mouth as could, lips touching the base.The resulting orgasm was accompanied by a single, short cry, then a series of quiet whimpers as Black Hat continued sucking and finally swallowed.

“How was that, doctor?“ 

Flug sat in the armchair, eyes closed. "Wonderful,” he said eventually. “You’re… very good at this.”


End file.
